How to Afford Adoption

OK
There is much conversation in British circles about the cost of adoption and I am not sure why everyone is so perplexed by this. When you adopt internationally, you are NOT 'buying' a baby, you are paying legal fees for lawyers, adoption hearing etc as well as travel expences, the expence of a VISA etc. Many people think nothing of spending 15K on a new car, and yet seem to have a problem spending on adoption related expences.

Many people do not have that amount of 'spare' money haging around but there are ways you can have more affordable adoptions.

1. If you adopt through Children's Services, there are no fees - the homestudy, classes, paperwork etc is all FREE.

2. The age of the child you adopt can make your adoption more affordable. For example, if you adopt a baby (i.e. a one year old - usually the youngest age you can adopt internationally) there are many extra expences like daycare (for longer), baby furniture etc. If you have a heart to adopt a 3 or 4 year old it can make your adoption far more reasonable as you don't have childcare costs.

3. FUNDRAISING - here are some ideas!
- Have carboot/garage/yard/ebay sales - sell everything you don't need, has no sentimental value etc

4. START SAVING - look at your expences, do you really need to buy lunch out, eat out, pay for cable/satellite tv? Can you buy less expencive groceries and make things yourself??

- Make a savings plan and stick to it - i.e. save 200 a month by cutting out things like those above.

- Start to live off one income (if you have a partner) OR live off the income you will have once you are a parent - if you will have to pay 500 a month in childcare, start saving that 500 a month now so that you are used to not having that money.

- Get your family and friends to help you with the costs - donation to an adoption fund instead of presents etc.

- Take up an extra job - i.e. if you enjoy dog walking - start a local business, take in some secretarial work, become a mystery shopper, work at a bookshop at weekends, baby sit etc.

- Look at adoption as a long term plan - adoption doesn't happen over night, and it certainly takes longer than 9 months 'gestation'. By the time you have completed your classes, homestudy, got approval, been approved by the country, been invited to travel - well for most people that is about 2 years.

5. LOOK CAREFULLY AT THE CHOICES OF COUNTRY - some are MUCH more expencive than others

6. RE-MORTGAGE - some people can add 5 -10K onto their mortgage and not have huge changes in what they are paying monthly.

7. SPACING OF CHILDREN - Have 3 or 4 years between adoptions so that you are not paying for childcare of more than one child, for example having a 2 year old and 6 year old (who is in school full time) is much cheaper than paying for a 2 year old and 3 year old to attend creche!

Look at it this way:
If you saved 100 a month from cutbacks
If you put 200 away a month that you will be paying towards childcare
If you earned 200 a month from an extra job 6 hours a week
If you had 4 sales in a year and earned 100 at each one
If you were donated 100 for your Birthday and Christmas over one year, you would have a grand total of:
TEN THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED!!!!

So, there are ways!!!!
(now you have to think about saving for the second adoption!)

Sad new statistic about children in care in the UK

Only 8% of children in care pass 5 subjects at GCSE at age 16
Only 1% go on to University - compared with 50% of children not in care...

These are sad facts. We often see the inequalities that exist in other parts of the world, but we fail to see the very real inequalities here in the UK, or in the US or Canada. When I was a foster parent/carer the children were exceptionally behind. It took a lot of hard work, structure, time and resources to get them up to scratch. It was hard work, but I was willing to put the time in. I wonder whether all foster carers are willing, somehow I think not. But there should be better resources - more tutoring programs, like those who exist in inner city USA. Hopefully the UK Gov't can do something to step up and reduce these inequalities for these wonderful children and young people.

An amazing commercial - a must see!

http://www.cheerios.com/ourCereals/ourcereals_home.aspx

go to the middle of the page and click on adoption

Why Adoption?

Having a heart for international adoption:
There are many reasons why I have a heart for international adoption. When I was a child I remember seeing the 20/20 stories on Romanian orphans, those beautiful children rocking back and forth in thier cribs, needing families to give them a chance. I remember thinking at age 12 "when I grow up I will adopt babies and children like that". I have also had the priviledge of seeing children who are adopted flourish into healthy, happy, loved children. Adoption didn't define who they were, but it was a special part of who they were.

Having a heart for Domestic adoption
I also have not ruled out domesti adoption (from foster care). Having had the wonderful opportunity of being a foster parent/carer I feel very strongly that these children also deserve and need families that can provide stability and unconditional love. These children too, deserve that. However, there are many other issues with adoption from foster care that I will need to consider - siblings, age at which children are available, bias towards married couples, contact with birth families. Many of those are dependant on social workers etc.

The Angelina Effect
I think it is wonderful that celebs adopt! Celebs like Angelina have done so much to give awareness of what a wonderful family a family who adopts is. I feel sick when I hear press comments about 'having her own baby'. All of those beautiful children are her own! It als is very upsetting when people think that adoption has only come about because of celebrities, as if members of the public adopt to have a fashion accessory like their favourite celeb. I wish these people would educate themselves, adoption is not easy, it requies years of uncertainty, ups and downs, courses, classes, homestudy visits, forms, interviews, travel and waiting. Those who adopt jump through hurdles to create a family, and what a special family they create.

So where do I go from here?
Adoption is not something I have taken lightly. I have spent 2 years learning about different adopted related issues. I have attended conferences on attachment in adoption, looked at hundreds of websites by adoptive parents, read books and done a lot of research. I have also been able to attend 3 adoption related event, speaking to social workers and other hopefully adoptive parents. I am not the typical adopters age, most there were in their late 30's, I am a few years younger than that (although creeping up slowly ;-) ) but I am committed to becoming an adoptive mom. So, what to do now? I have contacted various children's services dept/borough councils in order to find out how adoption works. I have received information packages on adoption and fostering and am waiting for a couple more things to get into place (having those ducks in a row before I begin). I would imagine that will take me through 2006 and I will look to start the process in 2007. At times it seems like a long time away, but I will have my whole lifetime in order to parent, and would rather get everything in order first. So, another year it is (probably!).

Starting Out

I guess I should start at the VERY beginning!
I am a professional, single woman who has dreamed of becoming a mother for many years. Having looked at many options, prayed (a lot), attending open events and spoken to other single mothers by choice, I am starting out on the adoption option!

With over 110 million children worldwide needing forever parents, I feel that adoption is a great choice for many people and families. I can't wait to begin the process of becoming a mum and welcoming a child into my heart.

I hope you enjoy this journey!

KA